| Testimony of James P. Gribben, Born Belfast, Ireland March 16, 1943, attended Catholic school until 14 years of age and upon leaving entered painting and decorating firm to serve 5 year apprenticeship. I had my first drink of alcohol at 17 years of age to go to a dance. I felt very much like a wall flower, but another drink soon helped that I would discover later I drank to do, I drank to dance...socialize and be accepted. At 19 years of age after 5 years of training was one of the youngest tradesmen in Ireland the school leaving age at that time was 14. Now it is 16, looking back through my school years and my apprenticeship years I can see that without God and His guidance I had some very bad attitudes and social problems. The Church could not help me because a lot of the priests drank and had problems with alcohol and therefore, I would not find deliverance there. I was married to Margaret at 18 years of age and the father of 4 children by the age of 21, increased responsibility, increased dependence on alcohol that by the time I was 21 I was in serious trouble and I needed to stop...take stock...to face reality...to look at what I was becoming, and what I swore I would never become. Because you see I had watched my father before me go down swiftly and seen his marriage affected and though I saw many warning signs of starting to get out of control and of alcohol playing too great a part in my life I was powerless to call it a day...and bring it to an end, after all so many were doing it, it was in fact a way of life and the bar room...the snug...the lounge bar all seemed second living rooms to me. These were the places where all the problems of the world were discussed...AH YES over a drink...there seemed no way out! I begin to make my own "home brew" that was a hybrid-heavy volume alcohol content that it was amazing one could walk after drinking this. Whiskey became one of the most important things in my life...the stronger the better. I begin to drink a lot more at home...I became a loner for the most part. War begins in Ireland, July 1969, pressure adds upon pressure to where my drinking is increasing more and more in looking for a way out. Margaret's parents had immigrated to America years before and called us from New York with the offer to live there. I flew there with my wife and 5 children October 1969...to discover that whiskey was only "one hour's pay"...at this time I moved from being a weekend and periodic alcoholic to a daily drunk! The progression was rapid...downhill fast...looking back I thank God I hit a bottom at 29. I had a good job in New York and made plenty of money which increased the ability to drink more and more. I still had not looked at my life honestly enough or listened to others loving, good advice, to look at or deal with The Drink Question...which must be dealt with...or it will deal with you! Pressure upon pressure...one more precious child on the way, and one badly lost father unable to cry out for help, shame upon shame...sliding further and deeper into the darkness drinking increasing where there is not a day missed and not a hangover every morning. The shakes and tremors begin, the burning of the eyes and the sickness eating up my stomach...how was I to know my liver was going the way of psoriasis. Now comes the visit to Queens General Hospital for the 5 hour barium test on the liver, bad news...if you continue to drink you will die a young man, what does any good alcoholic do? I went straight out and bought a bottle of whiskey, retreated to the back seat of the bus and underneath the seat I took a very much needed drink! Yes the end was near...if someone didn't intervene I surely would meet my maker without a Savior. Early morning needs of alcohol were now a part of my life, I swore I would never go this way as my hand shook and the first drink would not stay down. The bathroom had become my early morning club where I ministered to myself to get ready for the day. Though I had watched my father do this when I was young I yielded to putting the tie around my neck because my hand shook and I could put one end of the tie around the glass and one end around my hand, with my other hand I could pull the tie up keeping it steady that the contents would not spill out as they invariably wanted to because of my shakes...what had I turned into to? The devil who had allowed me to use alcohol to dance and socialize, but who in his plan all the time had me in his hand, now let me know in no uncertain way that I could not use this alcohol anymore for my benefit, he closed his hand and now would use me for his benefit to wreck destruction and havoc upon my family and others whom I loved and loved me. The power of Satan...alcoholism the master of the weak...no mercy would be given. Our sixth child is born in Queens, New York, and Margaret now begins to realize she can't get me to change so unwittingly to fit in to my social life she joins me in drinking...soon its two habits to feed, two people in one house with one common need ALCOHOL. I thank God this was only for 2 years...she would never reach the stage I had arrived at because God would intervene with "His Great Love". My life continued to spiral downward, deeper and deeper into the "addiction" that I hated, no more social drinking now, but drinking to survive..."suicide...now the haunting question". This would end the pain. I wanted to because I wanted out...but I couldn't because of the haunting fears what would happen to Margaret and the 6 children...to do or not to do this is not the question now "but the torment". I come home one evening to find Margaret had taken the children and left, another bottom reached. I called her up and she told me she was never coming back unless I went to alcoholics anonymous and quit drinking. I agreed to do this and went to AA, but for the wrong reason. I went for someone else and not myself, I went because of a person and not because of my sin. I went to meetings every single night and did not drink, but was doing every other sin...feeling suicidal, but not as often as I had found some companionship and people I could relate to and identify with. From time to time feeling very depressed and a great since of hopelessness seemed to prevail. How do I get out of this pain? I had heard "God" mentioned from time to time at the meetings and oftentimes wondered where He was and what was His name. I am now living in Bellrose, Queens New York and standing on the steps outside the apartment we were renting looking at the trees with the steam rising off them in the sunshine after a shower of rain...a great thought came to my mind, man has gone to the moon, but Ask Man...To build you a tree! I was reading the AA handbook by its founder Bill W. when I came across the remarkable statement, by now the "newcomer".....(why, it's speaking to me!) has discovered that the primary cause of his alcoholism is the seven cardinal sins, namely...pride, anger, gluttony, sloth, lust, etc. He is calling the cause of my 'alcoholism...sin' my, my, my...what a revelation the founder of the program categorically states that my problem came from sin. Now if I have the cause of it...where is the cure for it...if sin cause it, then if the sin is removed...so is the alcoholism...that is the addiction, the mental need to escape my problems and not face reality. Well "If I could face reality, face my sin the cause of the unreal life...perhaps I could live a normal life? Is is possible I could have what this man Bill W. had found", then I had remembered in another place of the same book he said while in the bed of Towns hospital on the east side of New York 'I cried out who am I to say there is no God...immediately the room lit up, I fell out of my bed onto the floor on my knees and a great eventide swept over my body...I knew I would never drink again!' this man had found the answer to The Drink Question I could see the connection, if the big book of AA told me what my sin was what caused my alcoholism...then I needed a bigger book (the Bible) to tell me how to effect the cure of my alcoholism. I read in the Bible that drunkenness is a sin...and all sinners would miss Heaven and go to Hell Galatians 5:21 "Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revelings and such like:...shall not inherit the kingdom of God". I had found the answer to drunkenness...it was sin, if I could find this God, Jesus...and He forgive my sins as He had forgiven so many others, the guilt and shame would leave, in fact this big book (God's book the Bible) said that Jesus would forgive all my sins if I would come to him with a repentant heart. He would wash me in His own blood and I could go free, Revelation 1:6 "Unto him that loved us and washed us from our sins in his own blood." Amazing Grace...how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me! A friend in AA invited me to my first prayer meeting...I struggle tremendously with this invitation but others must have been praying for me because I finally agreed to go. As we sang the hymn (Amazing Grace) I saw myself for the first time "in a real way" my drinking, my gambling, my loose life, my lack of true love and care of my family...the outcast of society which I had become...I was a chronic alcoholic I was a sinner...I now knew this with Godly conviction and could not escape it, what would I do, I repented, he gave me the Grace, he give me the faith to believe, I reached out in childlike faith and He reached down and saved me and released me and with His power and This Great Love he delivered me from the guttermost to the uttermost! Born Again...the new life...I am a free man this 33 years! I was born again now, John 3:3, "Verily, Verily I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." What a wonderful translation!...now I see the kingdom, and have peace within and that upon repentance...Is it this simple? Yes, you too can repent and see the kingdom, you can go to heaven, you can know Jesus and be born again? Well, you say, 'I would like to go to heaven, I would like to know Jesus,'...well we are here praying for you, others world wide are praying for you that you would receive conviction...that you would tell God you're sorry for your sins and repent of them and receive Jesus into your heart like I did and become a new creature and have your addiction and your sins all washed away by the blood of Jesus Christ and receive the free gift of this Great Love, which is salvation not of works. Only Jesus has this power...to forgive men's sins! I had discovered that while other men and women reach out to us with love and help only Jesus has This Great Love...Oh Love of God how rich and pure how immeasurable and strong. This great Love will endure forever...the addicted never need to be addicted again "Whom the son sets free is free indeed" The born again...the changed ones...the unaddicted...the grateful ones...the free ones. They find new goals...new principles to live by...new heights to climb...new ones to help. Those who have found Jesus Christ have found the great privilege of being his hands and feet, of being his voice to others, they have learned a little about the principles of... This Great Love |
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| James P. Gribben, Evangelist to Great Britain and Ireland, preaching the uncompromising word of God on the streets of Ireland and UK, still free from "the drink question"...Praise God these 33 years. |
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